Dive Into Madness
by nocoldwater
Summary: How did an average boy named Jack Napier become one of Gotham's most notorious criminals, The Joker? What pushed him over the edge into insanity? Joker claims "Madness, like gravity, take a little push." My take on his "push" as told by a long-time friend
1. You

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Joker or any settings or other characters associated with the Batman franchise. I also do not own the songs featured in each chapter though I will give credit for each at the beginning of the chapter. However, the girl telling this story (Joker's friend) is mine. **

**AN: So I got sort of stuck on my Sweeney Todd / Pirates crossover. And then I randomly came up with this idea when I was listening to the radio the other day and decided to run with it. It'll be a short story, but I'm sure you guys won't mind. The song featured in this chapter is "You" by Breaking Benjamin. Hope you all enjoy and please review!**

I sighed and flipped off the TV. I walked over to the window of my apartment and stared out at nothing in particular, allowing the warm breeze to blow across my face. My mind thought of the horrors that The Joker was involved with across Gotham City. His threat to kill someone every day unless Batman turned himself in. It made me sick just to think about it and remember the guy he had been so many years ago. I wiped a tear from my cheek as I thought back…

We were freshmen at Gotham University. We both elected to live at home and commute, and being best friends since eighth grade, we decided on the similar schedules and carpooled. We were riding in his convertible Mustang, with the top down, radio cranked up, singing along at the top of our lungs. It was kind of our ritual on warm spring days like this. We didn't care what was on the radio; we'd make up words if we didn't know the song.

We arrived at school within plenty of time to get to our classes. Jack Napier always made sure that I made it to each of my classes safely, even if he wasn't in that one with me. So it was absolutely no surprise to me when he took my hand and led me to my World History class. He gave me a hug at the door before allowing me to enter. Finally he let me go and headed off to his class while I entered mine.

Throughout the class he texted me, and I replied every time. It was sort of our shared bad habit, but it definitely made the time go by faster. Once more he was waiting for me when I exited the class. He scooped me up into a big bear hug, picking me out off the ground and spinning me around. I giggled. We weren't a couple, but we didn't care who thought we were. We were simply inseparable friends.

"So meet any cute guys?" he asked.

"Why do I need to find a guy when I've got you around?" I asked.

He chuckled and flashed me one of his charming smiles, "Just thought you might like a real boyfriend. And some other company than me."

"Nah, I'm perfectly happy with you, even if we are simply friends," I said, taking his hand in my own.

We made our way to our next class, this one we had together, holding hands. We made a bit of an odd pair though. For one, because our holding hands wasn't exactly the loving couple sort of holding hands; it was more like a brother-sisterly, "don't get lost" type of thing. For two, he was a good eight inches or so taller than me.

On our way to our next class, I asked him, "Meet any hot girls?"

"You know it's not a _hot_ girl that I'm after. They don't usually have much in this department," he said, pointing to his head.

I laughed, "That is true. They're usually all like omg! and like did you see that chick's hair?" I said, faking a high-pitched ditzy girl voice.

Jack laughed too, "Which is exactly why I don't want someone like that. And don't ever do that again, by the way."

"Ok, then, meet any cute girls you'd be interested in?"

"Nope, but as long as I've got you by my side, do I really need to go looking?"

That's when I grew quiet. Could he actually like me like that? I mean we had been friends for so long that the teasing and almost flirting just came natural, but what if there was actually something to it? I wanted to ask, but I didn't want his answer, so I kept my wonderings to myself. If he did mean something, I'm sure it would come up again.

I knew I needed to break the silence though, so I said, "So I can't pull off being a ditz, huh?"

"Nah, not really," he grinned down at me, "But that's ok because I like you better the way you are. Ditz does not fit well on you."

"Well, thanks, I guess that's a compliment," I said trailing off.

"It is and you're welcome," he said as he opened the door to the fancy lecture hall and held it open for me.

I let go of his hand and walked inside. He quickly caught up to me as I was headed for our usual seats in the back corner. I pulled out my computer to take the notes, but I wouldn't really be paying much attention as Jack began his usual "people watching" commentary which would dissolve into sarcastic side remarks to everything our American Government professor would say.

…I forced myself to stop thinking of the wonderful memories of our last normal times together. I couldn't stop the tears from trickling down my face though as I still saw his smiling face from those happier days.

I walked over to my stereo, all because I didn't dare turn the news back on. Instead I flipped on the radio and wandered to the couch, grabbing up one of the fluffy throw pillows, hugging it tightly into my chest as I cried while the radio blared…

_My hands are broken,_

_And time is going on and on, it goes forever (how long)_

_So I got high and lived all that life that I've taken all for granted_

_Promise me you'll try _

_To leave it all behind_

_Cause I've elected hell _

_Lying to myself_

_Why have I gone blind?_

_Live another life_

_You… You…_

_The only way out _

_Is letting your guard down and never die forgotten (I know)_

_Forgive me, my love, _

_I stand here all alone, and I can see the bottom._

_Promise me you'll try_

_To leave it all behind_

_Cause I've elected hell_

_Lying to myself_

_Why have I gone blind?_

_Live another life_

_You… You…_


	2. Long Road to Ruin

**AN: Thanks for the reviews from Chapter 1, you guys rock!!! Here's the next chapter for you. The song used in this one is "Long Road to Ruin" by Foo Fighters. Also, please review and let me know what you think of how I'm doing and such. Enjoy!**

I got myself up off the couch and dried my eyes. I fixed my makeup and then grabbed my keys and headed out of my apartment. It was sure to be a busy day at work with more news about The Joker. I held back the tears at the thought of him once more. I turned on my car's CD changer, having no idea what was in it, I was more looking for a distraction from my thoughts. Instead, I was given only one more reason to think of him as I was sent back to another place and time as The Foo Fighters screamed from my speakers…

_Here now don't make a sound_

_Say, have you heard the news today?_

_One flag was taken down _

_To raise another in its place_

_A heavy cross you bear_

_A stubborn heart remains unchanged_

_No harm, no life, no love_

_No stranger singin' in your name_

_But maybe the season_

_The colors change in the valley skies_

_Dear God, I've sealed my fate_

_Runnin' through hell, heaven can wait_

_Long road to ruin there in your eyes_

_Under the cold streetlights_

_No tomorrow, no dead end in sight_

It was nearly 8:00 on a Tuesday night in late May when my cell phone went off. I glanced down, though I knew by the ring tone who was calling me. I answered, "What do you want, Jack?" I didn't say it rudely, more of a playful "now what?!?"

Either way, he still seemed to tense up, "Am I interrupting you, Alexis?"

"Huh? No, I was just studying and getting frustrated," I covered quickly. "Why? What's up?"

"You wanna go catch a movie with me?"

"Alright… is something troubling you?"

"Nope, I just don't want to study anymore and what better thing to do than catch a nighttime movie with my favorite girl? I'll pick you up in five," Jack said just before he disconnected without allowing me time to respond.

I sighed and piled my books and notes on my desk. Then I threw on a hoodie and my tennis shoes. By the time I made it into the living room, Jack was pulling into the driveway.

I ran over to my dad and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "Headed to the movies with Jack, you don't have to wait up for us." Dad nodded and returned his attention to the TV as I headed out the door and got in Jack's car.

As we headed to the theatre, I turned up the radio as a Foo Fighters song came on. We both started singing along,

_Let's say we take this town_

_No king or queen of any state_

_Get up to shut it down_

_Open the streets and raise the gates_

_I know a wall to scale_

_I know a field without a name_

_Head on without a care_

_Before it's way too late_

_Maybe the season_

_The colors change in the valley skies_

_Dear God, I've sealed my fate_

_Runnin' through hell, heaven can wait_

_Long road to ruin there in your eyes_

_Under the cold street lights_

_No tomorrow, no dead end in sight_

When we reached the movies, Jack and I walked hand in hand to the ticket booth. "What do you want to see?" he asked.

"Doesn't matter to me. You're the one who wanted to go to the movies," I said.

Jack grinned at me as he told the girl, "Two tickets for Iron Man."

I looked at him as if to say "you have got to be kidding me?" Jack laughed at my expression as he gave the girl the money for the tickets. It wasn't until he ushered me inside and handed me my ticket that I realized he had paid for mine, as if it were a date or something. It was plain weird, he only paid for my ticket on my birthday and it definitely wasn't my birthday anytime soon. Was this a date then?

Date or no date, we had a blast. Not like we didn't always have fun when we were hanging out. The movie was good and after the movie ended, rather than go straight home, we drove around town in his car. We talked a bit, sang along to the radio, and just sat in silence. It was just a comfort to be around him, and it sure as hell beat studying for the test we had tomorrow.

It was a night I would never forget. We not only joked about random things but also had serious conversations about our futures. "So what do you want to do with your life, Jack?" I asked.

"I don't know. Whatever."

"You have to have some idea of something you like or think is interesting," I protested.

He gave me a funny sideways look, "Why? So I can be just like you, little miss goal-oriented?"

"I am not 'little miss goal-oriented,' thank you very much!"

"Oh really? Then what do you want to do with your life Alexis? Cure cancer? Be this first woman president?" Jack teased.

I glared at him, "That's not funny."

"Oh, come on, sure it is. You need to lighten up a bit," he said, playfully tugging at my arm till he managed to get me to let him get it loose so he could entwine his fingers with mine.

"And for your information, I don't want to do either of those things. I want to be a reporter or maybe a lawyer."

"Gonna clean up the city or get the scoop as it goes to hell, huh? Quite an extreme between the two, don't you think?"

"I don't know. Really though, what do you plan on doing?"

"Getting a successful girl to marry me and then I can do whatever I want all day," he grinned.

I rolled my eyes, "Good luck with that one."

"What? You don't think I could find someone like that?"

"No, I don't think you'd convince a successful girl to marry you if you're just a bum," I smirked.

"Oh, well, alright then. I figured I'd go into business management or something. You know I'm not really good at anything."

"That's not true, I'm sure we can find you something."

Jack nodded as he released my hand. He turned on the radio again and the conversation was dropped between us. He headed me home so we could both return to our studying at this lovely hour of midnight.

_For every piece to fall in place_

_Forever gone without a trace_

_Your horizon takes its shape_

_No turnin' back, don't turn that page_

_Come now, I'm leaving here tonight_

_Come now, let's leave it all behind_

_Is that the price you pay_

_Runnin' through hell, heaven can wait_

_Long road to ruin there in your eyes_

_Under the cold streetlights_

_No tomorrow, no dead end in sight_

As I pulled into the parking lot at Gotham News Channel, I shook my head at the irony of that conversation and that song. I had found what I was good at, reporting the hell on Earth Gotham City was fast becoming. Jack had found what he was good at too, burning this city down…


	3. Pain

**AN: Thanks again for the reviews. I'm totally on a roll with this one, lol, as you can tell from two updates in a day. The song for this chapter is "Pain" by Three Days Grace. Hope you enjoy it!**

I gave myself a much-needed pep talk in the car. I knew my day would be plagued with images of The Joker which was Jack. However, I would not allow those pictures, videos, voice clips, whatever get the better of me. I would not shed a tear over him at work.

I marched in to work, holding my head high. My brown hair pulled back in a tight bun, my makeup pretty much perfect even if my eyes were a tad pink from the tears. My business suit was crisply fit and ironed. No one would have any idea about the worries on my mind as I walked confidently into the building.

I walked over to my desk to find a folder containing my next assignment within it. I cautiously opened the folder to find The Joker's smiling face staring back at me. I groaned. I wanted any story but this. I didn't need the emotional rollercoaster it would send me on. Hell, I didn't need the emotional rollercoaster I was already on because of all this stuff with him.

As I was flipping through the pages in the folder and trying to think up a reason to pass the story off to someone else, my boss, Andrew, appeared. "Something troubling you, Alexis?"

I looked up. "Why do I have to do the Joker story?" I asked bluntly.

"Because you're my best reporter and the most thorough. Besides, this is a big story, major career maker, and you deserve that."

"Thank you, but I really don't want it. Please give it to someone else."

"I'm sorry, Alexis. I just can't do that. You're the best for the job, and that's exactly who I want covering this madman," Andrew explained as he gave me a reassuring smile and disappeared.

"Oh you have no idea," I muttered under my breath as he walked away.

I sat down at my desk and began to read more thoroughly through the provided information since there was clearly no escaping the story. There was no background on him. It was one big question mark…how did he get the scars? why a clown-like figure? what drove him over the edge? why the makeup and hair dye? who was he really and where did he come from? Unfortunately, I knew I could answer most of those questions without hesitation, for you could cover the man with makeup and change his name and nature, but you couldn't actually hide the boy below…

It was early November and had been raining for nearly a week with no end in sight just yet. I really hated the rain when we had to go to school. I didn't enjoy getting soaked and then having to sit in class and try to pay attention when I was cold and wet. At least I had Jack though who would always give me his nice warm jacket to keep my teeth from chattering throughout class.

As we walked to my car (he didn't like to drive his Mustang in this kind of weather), he wrapped an arm around me to help keep me drier with the umbrella as well as warmer with his body heat. "Hey, wanna come over tomorrow and work on our English papers together? You know bounce ideas off each other? And then my parents are having some of our family over for dinner, but you know all them so you can just join in too," I asked looking up at him.

He looked down at me and smiled half-heartedly, "You know I would love to, Lex, but I can't. I'm really sorry. My dad, brother, and I were going up to my uncle's tomorrow. He's doing some remodeling or something and apparently needs help."

"Oh, that's ok. I understand, maybe we can work on it Sunday then?"

"Sure, we could do that," Jack said flashing me a reassuring smile as he hugged me closer to him.

After I dropped him off at his house, I drove home in silence. I didn't even bother with the radio, just listened to the sound of the rain hitting the windshield. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I mean I understood that he had plans with his family, but something still seemed slightly off about the situation. I reassured myself that I was just overreacting.

When I got home, I decided against starting my homework. Instead, I found some dry clothes and warmed them in the dryer. Then I changed, only to find that I was still wearing Jack's jacket. "Well, I'll see him Sunday so not a big deal," I shrugged. Then I flopped down on my bed to watch a movie, for it was the perfect way to unwind after a long boring day of classes, especially when it was so dreary outside.

I must've fallen asleep though because my mom came in and woke me when she got home. I helped her fix supper so it was ready when Dad came home. There wasn't much conversation at the table that night; I guessed most was being saved for entertaining the guests tomorrow. After cleaning up, I told Mom and Dad I was going to bed. I blamed it on a long week, but I'm not sure they actually bought it.

The next morning I got up fairly early and spent the majority of my day in my room working on my English paper and working on some stuff for World History. I put on some music and hummed along as I worked. Sure, I took a break to visit with everyone, but I quickly returned to my work after I got sick of telling them that Jack and I were nothing more than friends, still.

When I returned, I could no longer focus on my work and instead found myself playing with my cell phone and singing along to the song that was playing,

_Pain without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

_You're sick of feeling numb_

_You're not the only one_

_I'll take you by the hand_

_And I'll show you a world that you can understand_

_This life is filled with hurt_

_When happiness doesn't work_

_Trust me and take my hand_

_When the lights go out you'll understand_

_Pain without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

And that's when I gave in on myself. I sent Jack a text message asking if he was home yet and what time he wanted to come over tomorrow. He sent back one sentence comprised of four tiny words, "I'm at Gotham General."

I was puzzled by the response, so I replied, "Why?"

_Anger and agony_

_Are better than misery_

_Trust me, I've got a plan_

_When the lights go out you'll understand_

_Pain without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

_Pain without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain I like it rough_

_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing_

_Rather feel pain_

His response was even shorter than the previous one, "Call me." And believe me I did, within half a second of getting his text. He answered me on the first ring, "Yeah?" He said wearily.

"What's going on?" I demanded as gently as I could, my heart pounding.

Jack sighed heavily. "We got in a car accident on our way home, and…and…"

"Are you ok? Is everyone alright? Who's hurt that you're at the hospital?" I questioned.

Jack sighed again and sobbed into the phone, "I'm the only one ok. Dad and Ryan are gone. They're gone, Lex."

I gasped in shock. "I'm on my way, like right now," I told him before I disconnected. I ran to my closet, grabbing my jacket and slipping on a pair of shoes. I grabbed Jack's coat then along with my keys and cell as the music blared,

_I know (I know I know I know I know)_

_That you're wounded_

_You know (you know you know you know you know)_

_That I'm here to save you_

_You know (you know you know you know you know)_

_I'm always here for you_

_I know (I know I know I know I know)_

_That you'll thank me later_

_Pain without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

I practically sped to the hospital. I didn't even bother with an umbrella as I rushed into the emergency room. I saw Jack sitting in a chair in the corner, his face turned away from me. His mother was pacing the waiting area, tears streaming down her face. I ran to Jack and wrapped his jacket around him and then my arms around his shoulders, "It's ok, I'm here for you," I whispered.

He looked at me with his tear-stained face, pain and despair grabbing hold of every one of his gentle features. He nodded, "Thanks," he choked out as he placed one of his hands on my arm to keep me latched to him. Not like I would've let go of him anyways.

"Alexis! Alexis! Earth to Alexis!" someone called and waved a hand in front of my face. I snapped out of my memories of the horrors of the past.

"Huh?" I asked.

"You were like totally spaced out there. Everything ok?" James, the cameraman, asked.

"Yeah, all's good. Guess I kinda got lost in my thoughts is all," I said, forcing a smile.

"Oh, ok then, just checking," he smiled briefly as he turned away from my desk and allowed me to get back to work. I began shuffling pages again, willing myself not to start thinking about the past again.


	4. So,So Suicide

**AN: Once again, thanks for the reviews from Chapter 3. My only request now is that those of you who are just reading it (I know you're out there) please shoot me a review and let me know what you think of it. Ok, and the song for this chapter is "So-So Suicide" by Finger Eleven.**

I was sitting at my desk feeling very overwhelmed by the story staring me in the face and the memories that I couldn't seem to escape. That's when James returned, holding a tape for me. "Boss, told me to get this to you since this is your story now," he said, passing me the tape.

I looked at it as my brow crinkled in wonder. I looked back at James, "Is this the one he sent?"

"Yep, the completely unedited one, some of it on there is pretty horrid," he frowned.

"Ok, thanks," I nodded.

"No problem," he said, flashing me a thumbs-up before departing.

I was nervous to watch the tape. I mean I had seen it on the news already, what he did to that man and his promise. But I put the tape in anyways, I didn't watch though, I just fast-forwarded through to see if anything seemed to jump out. Nothing did until the end. I let the end play. "I'm a man of my word," The Joker said, before the camera got all jumbled and his laughter filled the air. I paused it; I knew that place. To anyone else it was just an empty warehouse, but I knew what it had been…

It was the morning of the funeral for Jack's dad and brother. I had gone over to his place early, I was to ride with them. Jack needed me a lot more than my parents did anyways. The trouble was Jack had gone missing. We had an hour before we had to be at the funeral home and Jack's mother didn't know where he was. So I set out to look for him.

It wasn't hard to find him. Actually, I walked out the front door to find him sitting on the sidewalk at the curb. Call that hiding or what? I walked up to him and sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around him, pulling myself close to his body. He lifted up his right arm and wrapped it around me.

"So you didn't go missing," I whispered with a smile.

"No," he answered in monotone.

We sat there in silence, clinging to each other for the remainder of the time we had. I finally looked at my watch. It was time to go. I stood up, "Come on, we've got to go."

"I don't want to," Jack replied.

"Well, you don't have a choice," I said, taking his hand and using all my strength to pull him into a standing position.

He smirked as I nearly fell backwards when he finally allowed me to pull him up. "That's not funny," I said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Sorry," he said quietly, returning to his melancholy mood.

"No, I'm sorry," I said giving him a hug. He returned it and rested his chin on the top of my head.

We stayed in that moment until Jack's mom came rushing out of the house. "Come on, time to go," she said in very much the same sad tone that Jack had spoken in. Jack and I broke apart and followed her to the car, still holding hands.

The funeral was a complete blur for me. That was probably partly due to my eyes being filled with tears the entire time. I tried to stay as close to Jack as possible because I knew he needed me now more than ever.

A few days later, he went back to school with me. I think he did it to get his mind off everything. I also think it was to get away from his mother too though. She just wasn't right anymore. It was like there was something so beyond repairable broken within her that she just closed in from the world, waiting to die herself. It was awful to watch, but there was nothing anyone could do for her.

One day while we were eating lunch, Jack spoke up. He hadn't said much to me, but I knew he needed time. "Why me?" he asked.

"What?" I questioned, not sure what he was talking about.

"Why was it me? I shouldn't have lived. It should've been Ryan."

"You can't mean that. You can't beat yourself up the rest of your life about why you were the one to live."

"Sure I can. And it still shouldn't have been me."

"Why? Why do you say that? You're an incredibly nice guy, why wouldn't you deserve to live?"

"I have no skills, Lex. Ryan was so much more talented than me, so much smarter. He could've contributed so much more to this world than I ever can. He should've been allowed to live so he could have made a difference."

Tears stung my eyes. I wanted to cry for Jack because it broke my heart to hear him talk like that. "I don't believe that. You'll do great things too. You might not see the reason now, but one day you will, Jack. There's no doubt in my mind that there is a very good reason you lived, you have to believe that too."

"Except that I can't," Jack sighed, looking at his food to avoid meeting my gaze.

"And why can't you?" I demanded.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Just because. You wouldn't understand."

"Stop acting like a five-year-old and tell me, please."

"Fine." Jack took a long sip of his coke before telling me. "Even my mom believes it. I don't think she really blames me for them dying, but she doesn't understand how I walked away without a scratch. And she's sort of mad at the world for taking Ryan from her, he always was the favorite you know."

"Yeah, I know, but that's stupid. She should be thankful that you're still here too and that she didn't lose her entire family."

"Yeah, well, that'd be the logical response, I suppose. Instead, she refuses to have anything to do with me. It's like I'm now alone in this world, completely alone."

"You're not alone, Jack. You have me. And my parents, they love you too. I'm sure you could stay at my house if you don't want to deal with your mom."

"Thanks, but I think leaving her might make it a bit worse. She's already so depressed. I just don't know, Lex."

"Just promise me one thing, you won't let whatever she tells you tear you down. You're much better than that."

"I won't."

"Promise me," I insisted.

"I promise. I'm a man of my word," he winked.

"One more thing?" I asked as he stood up to dump his trash.

"Yeah?"

"Stop being so depressed."

"I'll try, but that one's a lot more difficult."

I knew he was probably changing, but I denied it every step of the way. I believed that my Jack would return shortly. I mean, it was expected to be difficult to get over your dad and younger brother dying in front of you while you were completely unharmed. And then his mother well on her way to giving up on life, it wasn't surprising. But he was stronger than that and I was convinced he'd come through just fine, yet as I watched him walk across the room a song ran through my mind,

_I felt the blisters_

_Below the words_

_A universe waiting to explode_

_And I felt the words crawl out of my skull_

_And now you know _

_Exactly what you should_

_Don't bother pretending I seem fine_

_I like that I'm a mess_

_I can't stand it much longer in my head_

_I think it's time for bullets_

_Became so-so suicidal_

_And now I know the ugly from the good_

_Don't bother pretending I seem fine_

_I like that I'm a mess_

_I can't stand it much longer in my head_

_I think it's time for bullets_

_Don't bother pretending I seem fine_

_I'm trying to confess_

_I can't stand it much longer in my head_

_But it's not time for bullets_


	5. Just to Get High

**AN: First off, I am SOOOO sorry it took me forever to get this update out! Been a crazy week of tests and stuff at school. Anyways, I'm making it up to you with my longest chapter (probably ever, lol)! The song for this chapter is "Just To Get High" by Nickelback. Actually, that's the song that sparked this story's idea. So thanks for the previous chapters reviews, please keep them coming. Hope you enjoy! **

I pulled myself from the memories that threatened to drown me once more. I turned the page in the folder to find scrawled writing that I didn't recognize. It was a few minor notes about The Joker, more or less descriptions, and obvious ones at that. There were a list of questions along with it, but only one caught my attention: "Is his laughter and in general his demeanor fueled by drug usage?" Sadly, I knew that answer too, or I sort of knew that answer…

It had been about four months since the accident, but things had still not returned to normal with Jack or his mother. If anything, Jack had gotten worse. He became distant and often avoided me. He neglected much of his schoolwork too, and I had to admit that I was really growing worried about him.

Finally, I confronted him one afternoon after our U.S. history class. He tried to rush out ahead of me, but I caught up to him and grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. I looked into his eyes and saw how bloodshot they were. He looked like he hadn't slept for days, but he also seemed kind of jittery. I looked closer at his eyes and saw how dilated his pupils were. I knew that could only mean one thing. I swallowed hard before daring myself to ask, "Are you doing drugs?"

Jack cast his eyes to the floor. "Why do you care?" he asked.

"Last time I checked I was your best friend since eighth grade, so I think that qualifies as a damn good reason to care," I said becoming agitated.

Jack shrugged. "Whatever," he muttered.

"So what? You're just trying to throw it all away now?"

"You wouldn't understand, so don't even act like you do," he spat, breaking free of my grip and walking away from me.

I shook my head and tried not the let the tears spill as I turned my back to him and ran in the opposite direction. I never knew it would hurt so bad to lose him, assuming that's what had happened. Especially not have that many years or even after those moments where we seemed to fit together so perfectly, just the two of us. As I thought of those days of riding in his Mustang, I vowed to myself that I would get to the bottom of this issue and I would do my best to get him back.

I was done with class for the day, but I knew he still have a couple more classes. I smirked as I got in my car. It was perfect. I drove straight over to his house to see if his mom was around. I had gotten lucky because she was. She still looked so heartbroken, but warmly let me into the house.

"What brings you here, Alexis? Jack is still at school."

"I know, Mrs. Napier. I just came from there myself. I need to ask you something about him actually."

"What's that?"

"Has he been doing drugs?"

Mrs. Napier sighed heavily, "I'd love to tell you that he's not, but I think he is. He goes out at odd hours of the night and I've even noticed some of my rings have gone missing."

"Why don't you say something to him then? Check him into rehab, make him quit?" I asked.

"You can't believe that he'd listen to me?"

"You're his mother! Put your foot down! He's gonna ruin his whole life if you don't. He'll throw everything he used to care about away and be alone, if he doesn't get himself killed!" I exclaimed.

"And I'm supposed to tell him what to do when I can't even get over what happened four months ago?"

"You should get help to then," I suggested.

Mrs. Napier shook her head, "Alexis, I'm far too broken for any kind of help to actually be helpful."

"You can't mean that…"

"Sadly, I do," she sniffled. "I just can't go on by myself like this. My entire life, my whole world was taken away from me in just a matter of minutes."

"So you're willing to let Jack destroy himself, risk losing another son all because you don't think he'll listen to someone as depressed as you?" I asked skeptically.

"You're his best friend. You always have had such a special place in his heart. You would be the best one to help him, make him see the light before it's too late," Mrs. Napier replied.

I nodded, full of determination. "Alright, I'll take care of him, if it's the last thing I do."

I left his house and headed back to mine. I had to devise a way to follow him at night without him catching me. I needed to know how bad the situation really was before I confronted him again.

_He was my best friend, I tried to help him_

_But he traded everything for suffering_

_And found himself alone_

_I watched the lying, turn into hiding_

_With scars on both his lips, his fingertips_

_Were melted to the bone_

_But I can still remember_

_What his face looked like_

_When I found him in an alley_

_In the middle of the night_

_Tell me what you know_

_Tell me what you gone and done now_

_Tell me what you know_

_Tell me what you gone and done now_

_Gonna do the trick, get it over with_

_You're better off to take all that_

_You've got and burn it on the spot_

_Just to get high_

I followed him that night. I had snuck over to his house and into the backseat of his car. I assumed he would take his car with him, and I was right. I laid flat as I could against the floor, making as little noise as possible.

When he parked the car and got out, I slowly sat up to see which direction he headed off in. Then I carefully got out of the car, being sure to relock the door so he wouldn't know I had ever been there. Then I followed him. I followed him down on dark alley after another. Finally, he ran into two other figures.

I observed the exchange from around the corner. Both of the new figures wore dark clothes with hoods obscuring most of their features. They were men though, I could tell from their voices when they spoke. The first, and taller, one asked, "Where's the money?"

Jack reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small wad of cash. He opened the cash and counted out five bills, probably $20s, and handed it to the first man. The second man passed Jack a small bag of white powder. I held in a groan as Jack accepted the bag. "This stuff good?" Jack asked, opening the bag and taking a sniff.

The second hooded man spoke, "Sure is. Best _your_ money can get you."

Jack nodded, "Thanks." Then he turned to leave, heading back in my direction. I pressed myself as tightly as I could against the wall, praying that he wouldn't notice me as he darted past.

He didn't see me. I breathed a sigh of relief and took to following him once again. As we neared the car, I slowed up wondering how I would manage to sneak back into the car because there was no way in hell I would walk home from here. It definitely was a shady area of town, not for anyway, especially a girl, to be walking alone at night.

Jack climbed behind the wheel of his car, but he didn't start it. Instead, I watched him pull out his Ziploc bag of drugs and open it. I raised my eyes to the sky, "Please God, don't tell me I have to watch him take a hit." I looked back to find his face buried in the bag, inhaling the aroma of the white powder, I guessed. I sighed, but took the opportunity to sneak into the trunk of the car. There was no way I would've been able to get into the backseat without him realizing I was there.

Within a few seconds of me climbing into the trunk, Jack started the car and drove off, headed for home. Once he parked, he got out and slammed the car door shut. I waited a minute to ensure that he had gone inside, no sense in getting caught now. Then I carefully opened the trunk, gasping in a deep breath of clean air. In hindsight, not my smartest idea to climb into the trunk, but I hadn't suffocated so that was a plus.

From there I walked back to my house as if nothing had happened. The entire way though I thought of how best to confront him as well as a better plan for following him next time. This would definitely not be easy.

_Three days no sleeping, he gave up eating_

_He sold his mother's rings, she said nothing_

_And pretended not to know_

_He started stealing to supply the feeling_

_Found out he pulled a knife on someone's wife_

_And held it to her throat_

_But I can still remember_

_What his face looked like_

_When I found him in an alley_

_In the middle of the night_

_Tell me what you know_

_Tell me what you gone and done now_

_Tell me what you know_

_Tell me what you gone and done now_

_Gonna do the trick, get it over with_

_You're better off to take all that_

_You've got and burn it on the spot_

_Just to get high_

Jack didn't appear at school for a week, and he wouldn't return my calls or texts. I had even emailed him the notes from history, but he had never bothered a "thanks" or anything. I began to doubt he had even read the emails.

It was when I was on my way home on a rainy day that I decided I would stop by Jack's house and see if he was around or not. As I pulled into the driveway, I saw his car parked in its usual spot. I took that as a good sign as I parked next to it. I knew he was there and I wouldn't be leaving until I saw him.

I marched up the sidewalk determined to get answers. I rang the doorbell and waited to be answered. I assumed Mrs. Napier would be the one to come to the door, but to my surprise it was actually Jack that peered through the slowly opening crack.

I smiled warmly as he opened the door farther. Jack, however, did not return my expression with his wide charming grin. He actually looked like hell. He clearly hadn't eaten in days, nor had he slept.

"Can I come in?" I asked.

Jack nodded and moved aside to let me in, closing the door behind me.

"Where have you been?" I demanded, "You don't return calls or texts, haven't been to class in over a week, I thought you might've fallen off the face of the Earth or something!"

"Nope, been right here the whole time."

"So you're just giving up on life, huh? Throwing everything you have away just so you can get high and try to escape the pain," I said.

"Maybe," he shrugged, not even bothering to jump to the defense, which was not like Jack at all.

"Are you even the same guy I've always known and loved?" I asked without even thinking.

"Probably not," he answered truthfully. Those two little words tore my heart in two.

"Jack, this is just so not like you at all. You've got to stop, come back. You need an intervention, and I guess I get to be it," I said, tears threatening to well up in my eyes.

Jack grunted and rolled his eyes. "You just don't get it, Alexis. Just because your life isn't fucked up like mine, doesn't mean you have the right to come over here and try to get me to change and turn it all around. It's not that simple."

"Oh, and it's easier to keep going down this road?"

"Yeah, maybe it is. Hurts a hell of a lot less too," Jack smirked.

"You're a jerk. A selfish jerk and clearly you don't care how many people you hurt. Maybe you were right before that Ryan should've lived instead," I spat, but as soon as the words left my mouth I regretted it.

Jack stared at me in shock and horror at my words. They seemed to cut him like a knife. "Maybe you should just leave now."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Jack, you know I didn't mean it like that," I said, beginning to cry.

Jack's eyes looked watery too. "I'd like to hope you didn't mean it, but it seems people become more truthful when they're angry and not thinking before they speak," he said sadly.

I gave him a tight hug, "You know I didn't mean it. I'm really truly sorry. I meant that if you keep going like this what you said becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy."

He sort of hugged me back, but then pushed me away, "Really, Alexis, I think it's best if you just go," he said, opening the door to let me back out.

I nodded and left, except I didn't really leave because I was planning to follow him that night once again. This time though, I wouldn't be sneaking into his car; I would follow him by a safe distance in my own car instead.

_Tell me what you did, where you gone and hid?_

_Show me what you really want, was it what you got?_

_Slowly circle in the drain, throw it all away_

_Just to get high, high, high, oh_

_Tell me what you know_

_Tell me what you gone and done now_

_Tell me what you know_

_Tell me what you gone and done now_

_Gonna do the trick, get it over with_

_You're better off to take all that _

_You got and burn it one the spot_

_Just to get high_

_Tell me what you did, where you gone and hid?_

_Show me what you really want, was it what you got?_

_Slowly circle in the drain, throw it all away_

_Just to get high, just to get high_

_Slowly circle in the drain, throw it all away_

_Just to get high_

I followed him to an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Gotham. I even had the courage to follow him inside. I stayed hidden as he moved into the open center of the room. A group of about eight men in black hoodies and dark jeans circled Jack.

These men obscured my view of Jack, but the tallest began to yell at him. "Where's the money you promised us?"

Jack said, "I don't have it yet. I told you, I need more time to get that amount of money."

"Well maybe you shouldn't have lied to us about the value of that stuff. Or maybe you shouldn't buy more drugs than you can afford."

"You're the ones who allowed me to buy more than I had the money for, so it's your own damn fault," Jack spat back defiantly.

"I don't like being talked back to," the man growled as he hit Jack with the back of his hand. I heard a crack as the man's hand collided with Jack's temple, sending Jack crumbling to the floor. I remained frozen in place out of fear.

The other men began kicking Jack as he groaned in pain. The tall man spoke again, "You messed with the wrong dealers, my friend." He lifted Jack up by the collar of his shirt and held him at eye level.

The other men formed a tight circle, blocking my view which I really was probably thankful for as the man pulled out something that glinted in the dim light and said, "So we're gonna teach you a little lesson, boy, maybe that will get you to think twice next time." Jack's screams filled the room the next second. I covered my ears, but I could still hear his painful screaming.

Once the man finished with him, he dropped Jack to the floor in a heap. He kicked him once and said to his accomplices, "Let's move out, we're done with this one." The men in the hoodies filed out of the warehouse, leaving it deserted to Jack and me.

As I heard engines rev and brakes squeal, I came out of my hiding spot and rushed to Jack's side. He was curled up in the fetal position, clutching his face with both his hands, still moaning in pain. His hands were covered with blood.

"Jack," I said gently, "Jack, let me see." I gently took his hands and moved them away from his face. I gasped at the sight that greeted me.

"Oh my God, what have they done to you, Jack?" I cried as I saw his blood-covered face. As I peered through the blood, I saw two jagged cuts, one across each cheek, extending from the edges of his lips.

I couldn't stop myself; I reached out and brushed my fingers across the still bleeding wounds. Jack cried out in pain at my touch and grabbed my wrist with his bloody hand. "Stop! Don't touch them!" he begged.

"Sorry," I replied, pulling my hand away. "We gotta get you to the hospital and get you help."

"No," Jack said.

"Why not? You're clearly in pain."

"We don't have the money for it. If I had money, I wouldn't have ended up in this position," he tried to laugh.

"Then I'll pay for it."

"No, I will not let your family do that. I don't deserve it. I'll just let it heal and live with it."

I sighed, knowing it was useless to fight him. Silent tears rolled down my face though as I could see how much pain he was in and yet there was nothing I could do to take it away.

Jack reached up and wiped the tears from my cheek, smearing my cheek with his blood. He tried to make a joke, "At least I don't have a reason not to smile now."

I stared at him puzzled a moment, but looking closer at the cuts, I saw that they formed a permanent smile upon his face. "I suppose, I just wish I could've prevented it," I said, helping him up.

"It's not your fault, Lex," he muttered as he leaned against me, as he became lightheaded from the loss of blood, so I could help him to the car and take him home.


	6. How to Save a Life

**AN: Thanks for the reviews from the last chapter, I definitely appreciate hearing from you readers on how you like the story and stuff like that. Makes it worth writing and makes me want to keep going. Sorry that it's been awhile since the last update, been rather busy and such, but hey, it's finally here now. The song for this chapter is "How to Save a Life" by The Fray. Hope you all enjoy and don't forget to let me know what you think!! :)**

I was drawn once more from my horrific memories of Jack when I felt two hands upon my shoulders. I turned and found my tearful eyes looking at my boss, Andrew. I sniffled, and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "What's up?" I asked.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Who me? Yeah, I'm fine. Never been better," I said, attempting to sound as cheerful as I could, except my voice cracked.

"You're not fine. Finding out a lot of depressing stuff about this Joker character, huh?" Andrew asked, nodding toward the open file folder on my desk.

"Uhh… yeah," I said, figuring it was best to play along than let him know I'm probably the one person in Gotham that knew him the best, or used to at least.

"Why don't you take the rest of the day off then? You look like you need to get away from here. Just take the rest of the day and relax."

"Thanks. You sure though?"

"Yeah, we'll hold down the fort without you. Now get out of here," he smiled.

I nodded and grabbed my keys. I got in my car and drove home. I decided that I would watch a movie or two and order in a pizza when I got hungry. It was time to be lazy and try not to think about Jack.

When I got home, I went to take a nice hot shower. Ok, so it started out as a hot shower, but in an attempt to drown my worries and memories, it quickly turned cold. And that's the exact moment that I got out and put on a comfy set of lounge pants and matching tank top.

I headed out to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and made some popcorn. Finally, I was ready for my movie. I plopped down on the couch and hit play for to start the DVD player.

_A Knight's Tale_ began to play and I watched intently for maybe twenty minutes. It was one of my favorite movies, but for some reason I suddenly didn't want to watch it anymore. My mind thought of Jack every time William Thatcher smiled and I couldn't take it. The goal of this afternoon was to forget about him, and clearly this movie was not going to allow that. I hit stop and walked over to the TV and took the DVD out.

I searched my collection trying to find a movie that I didn't think would remind me of Jack. Something that I hadn't seen with him or didn't have some actor in it that wasn't similar to him in any way. Finally, I laid my eyes upon _Elizabethtown_. I shrugged. Not exactly my favorite movie, but I figured it might do the trick.

I popped it in the player and went back to my bowl of popcorn to watch the movie. Unfortunately, in not watching this movie that often, I had forgotten about how depressing the beginning was.

I groaned as I watched the beginning and remembered what was going to happen next. I covered my face with the pillow and screamed silently into it. It was obvious that no matter how hard I could try, there was absolutely no escaping those damn memories of Jack's spiral…

After I took Jack home I figured I would probably never see him again. I mean with those scars that would form across his cheeks when those cuts healed, I didn't think he'd ever step foot outside again, but I was wrong.

Within a week's time, Jack appeared at my house one morning as I was getting ready to go to school. "What are you doing here?" I answered the door, trying not to look at his scars.

"Picking you up so we can go to school, of course. What else would I be doing here at this time?" he smiled.

"Uhh, ok…" I said slowly.

"Ready to go?" he asked, rocking back on his heels out of impatience.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said, slinging my book bag onto my shoulder and following Jack out the door.

When we arrived at school and walked through the hallways to our class, people constantly stopped and stared at us. I was pretty certain we both knew they were staring at his scars, not the odd height difference between us, but Jack ignored them, so I followed suit.

We found seats in the back row of the lecture hall. Once seated, I whispered to Jack, "I didn't think you'd come back to school."

He cocked his head to the side as he looked at me with a puzzled look in his eyes and that twisted smile permanently upon his face. "How come?"

"Those," I said.

He raised an eyebrow at me, "I don't know what that means."

"Yes you do," I said, reaching my hand out to his face. My fingers lightly touched his scars and he flinched at my touch.

I quickly retracted my hand, fearing I had hurt him. He caught my wrist though, and held my hand within an inch of the scars. "It's ok, there's no need to be scared," he whispered as he made my palm trace over the scar on his left cheek again.

I could see him trying not to flinch at the touch, and I tried not to cry. They felt so battered and rough. It was kind of creepy in a way. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of five minutes, Jack let go of my wrist and my hand fell away from his cheek.

"So what is it about them that makes you say I wouldn't return to school?" he asked.

"Because you can't cover them up."

"True, but people have always said I need to lighten up a little, so here I am now always smiling. That's gotta count for something," he grinned, making the smile grow even wider that anyone could've ever smiled normally.

I nodded, figuring that Jack sort of had a point. Yet somehow I wasn't completely convinced. I was glad that he seemed less depressed than before, but I couldn't be certain that it was real or even here to stay. I shrugged, deciding that I ought to make the most of it while I could before things changed again.

And change again they did. Within about two weeks, things took a turn for the worse yet again. I couldn't understand how one guy could have so many things go wrong for him, be plagued by so much bad luck.

Jack called me at 10:45 on a Monday night just as I was settling in to sleep. He sounded extremely upset and was talking so fast I could barely figure out what he was saying. I managed to catch the word "dead" in his rambling.

I cut him off, "Who's dead?"

"My mother," he replied.

"What happened?" I asked, sitting bolt right up in my bed.

"I don't know exactly. I just came home and found her hanging there from the staircase railing with a note on the floor beneath her telling me she was sorry but she just couldn't go on like this anymore," he explained between sobs.

A tear ran down my cheek as my heart broke for him once again. He was completely alone now. He had no family left. Instead, he was alone, aside from me, and labeled a freak for his scars. "Why don't you come over here for the night?" I suggested.

"I don't know, I think I should be here."

"Jack, she's not coming back. She's gone. You're alone and you need somebody right now."

"Well, why don't you come over instead?"

"Umm…" I froze, not wanting to tell him that I really didn't want to see his mother's lifeless body like that.

"You won't have to see the body. I already called 911 and they came and took her," he said, as if he could read my mind.

"But I'm already in my pj's and ready to crawl into bed," I protested.

Jack sighed, "Fine, I'll be over there in five. You're probably right that I should stay here for the night anyways."

_Step one you say we need to talk_

_He walks you say sit down it's just a talk_

_He smiles politely back at you_

_You stare politely right on through_

_Some sort of window to your right_

_As he goes left and you stay right_

_Between the lines of fear and blame_

_You begin to wonder why you came_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

Jack did arrive at my house within five minutes. I hadn't been certain that he really would come. Somehow I believed he had the perfect excuse to lose himself in the drugs once more and shut the whole world out of his life permanently.

When I opened the door for him, his eyes were so red I thought maybe he had returned to the drugs. His cheeks were tear-stained so I knew that was the more likely cause of his bloodshot eyes. I threw myself into his arms as he walked through the door. "I'm so sorry, Jack," I whispered.

"Thanks, I'll live," he said, withdrawing from my embrace.

I led him back to my room where I flopped down on the bed. He stood awkwardly in the doorway. I rolled over, leaving room for him on the bed and motioned for him to join me. He shook his head, "Can I take a shower?"

"Oh, yeah, sure," I said, getting up to go get him a towel.

I returned moments later holding a towel for him. I handed it to him and opened the bathroom door. "Enjoy," I said.

"Thanks. Just need to clear my head, you know?"

I nodded as he entered the bathroom and shut the door. I returned to my bed and flipped on the TV to see if there was anything worth watching, but there wasn't.

Finally, Jack appeared from the bathroom, his sandy blonde hair looking brown from being wet. Jack came over and sat on the bed with me and smiled. I returned the smile, though neither of us spoke. We just sat there with each other, each lost in our own thoughts and wondering what the other was thinking.

_Let him know that you know best_

_Cause after all you do know best_

_Try to slip past his defense_

_Without granting innocence_

_Lay down a list of what is wrong_

_The things you've told him all along_

_And pray to God he hears you_

_And pray to God he hears you_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

I decided to break the silence, "What are you thinking?"

Jack chuckled, "That's a hell of a way to open up a conversation."

"Well, you weren't coming up with anything," I protested.

Jack grinned, "Well, to be honest, I'm wondering why my life is so fucked up."

I frowned. "Jack," I sighed.

"What, Alexis? It's true. First I lose my dad and brother and I get to walk away without a scratch at all. Then my mom pretty much loses it and ends up killing herself. And I've got a lovely scarred up face for everyone to stare and point at. So explain to my how my life isn't fucked up," Jack grumbled.

"You can get through it. Everyone has bad luck sometimes, and it passes."

"Oh, that's a good one, Lex. Pretty sure when other people have bad luck it's not like this, it's never this bad for other people. Hell, it never used to be this bad for me till that night."

"Well, look on the bright side, at least you're alive. Those dealers didn't kill you that night."

"They left me for dead and I probably could've bled out. It's only because you followed me that I was found," he said.

"You wouldn't have bled out from those wounds. They didn't hit a major artery or vein, so it would've clotted before you could bleed to death," I said.

He rolled his eyes, "Thanks, get all technical on me."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "And at least you still have one person in this world that cares about you."

He looked at me puzzled, and then realized that I was referring to myself. He smiled slowly and pulled me close to him as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

"It's just that in these moments, life really is easier high," Jack muttered.

I pulled away from him and stared at him in shock, "You can't be serious."

"Well, it is. When you're high, you're happy and nothing matters. Someone could come and tell you the saddest story and you'd find it hilarious. Sure, it's kinda fucked up, but hey, that hurts less than this shit."

"Oh, Jack, please tell me you're not gonna take it back up."

Jack laughed, "Oh, that's a good one. And at the moment, no. It costs a lot to feed that addiction and I don't have money right now. I'm not even sure I'll be able to stay in school actually."

"If you dropout, what are you going to do?" I asked.

"I don't know. But in a city as corrupt as this, I'm sure I could find somebody to hire me without a degree and with my face," he shrugged.

"Maybe," I replied softly. I yawned loudly then.

"Why don't you go to sleep?" he asked.

"Not sleepy," I said, yawning again.

"You are such a bad liar," he grinned.

"I am not."

"Yeah, ok," he said, rolling his eyes. "Why don't you get some shut eye, it's like three in the morning, you know."

"But you need me and I'm ready to stay up all night for that."

Jack shook his head, "It's ok, I'm fine. You sleep. I'll just be lost in my thoughts anyways, not that exciting for you."

I sighed in defeat. "Fine, I'll go to sleep, but you better wake me if you think of something you need to say."

"I will, I promise," he said as I laid my head on my pillow and closed my eyes.

_As he begins to raise his voice_

_You lower yours and grant him one last choice_

_Drive until you lose the road_

_Or break with the ones you've followed_

_He will do one of two things_

_He will admit to everything_

_Or he'll say he's just not the same_

_And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would've stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

I was withdrawn once again from my stupid memories. Tears had begun to fall down my cheeks and I wiped them away hastily. Somehow, I felt that I knew that I was losing him once more that night, and yet I did nothing to stop it. I didn't really think there was anything I could've done. Staying up pretty much all night with him would never have changed his mind. He still would've left in the morning without any explanation other than "I have to get away from here for awhile."

I got up and shut off _Elizabethtown_ too. I didn't need this shit. I didn't these damn memories. I switched the DVD to _The Prestige_. Let's see how well I think about him now since Jack doesn't know any magic tricks, I thought bitterly as I started the movie.


	7. Had Enough

**AN: First off, thanks for the reviews from Chapter 6. I really do appreciate the feedback, as always. I've got one chapter to go because then I'm out of songs for this story. Just want you guys to have that heads up. The song for this chapter is "Had Enough" by Breaking Benjamin. And without any further ado, here it is...**

Once I finished with my popcorn, I set the bowl aside and tucked my legs under me. I heard a rumble of thunder in the distance, so I grabbed a pillow and hugged it tightly to my chest. I didn't really like storms when I was all by myself. However, as I was watching the movie, all curled up under the blanket, I drifted to sleep…

It was graduation day. I was finally getting out of college. I was graduating towards the top of my class with a degree in journalism. I was set too because my internship at Gotham News Channel was becoming a full time job. As I put on my cap and gown, I wiped a few tears from my eyes. I wasn't crying because I would be moving out on my own after this, I was crying because Jack should've been with me about to take that final step, but he wasn't. Actually, I hadn't seen Jack since the night his mother died.

I fixed my cap in the mirror and then walked out into the family room to my waiting parents. My mom was ready with the camera and started snapping pictures the moment I entered the room. My dad gave me a tight hug and told me how proud they were of me. I smiled and acted happy while inside my heart was deeply troubled.

The ride up to Gotham University was a quiet one. That was perfectly fine by me though. It allowed my mind to wonder about Jack. Where had he gone? What was he doing? Was he safe? Was he happy? Would I ever see him again? Unfortunately, I had no answer to any of these questions and I had no idea how I could ever get the answers I wanted.

When we arrived on campus, I parted from my parents to the designated location for us graduates. My parents headed off to find seats so they could watch me walk across the stage once more. As we filed out onto the field, I looked around the stands. I spotted my parents right away, but I continued to look around. I noticed someone hanging toward the back, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was Jack.

I shook my head. It couldn't be him; if anything, it was just my mind playing tricks on me. As my name was called and I walked across the stage, I heard a wolf-whistle and I had to wonder who did that. As they handed me my diploma, I grinned as I remembered Jack telling me I would either become a reporter or a lawyer, and he was right.

_Milk it for all it's worth_

_Make sure you get there first_

_The apple of your eye_

_The rotten core inside_

_We are all prisoners_

_Things couldn't get much worse_

_I've had it up to here, you know your end is near_

_You had to have it all_

_Well have you had enough?_

_You greedy little bastard,_

_You will get what you deserve_

_When all is said and done_

_I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become_

Once the ceremony concluded, I wandered toward the bleachers to find my parents. However, before I could reach them, someone grabbed me from behind and picked me up, carrying me away from the crowded stands. I kicked and punched whoever was holding me, trying to get free, but the person's grip was too strong. Please God, don't let me die, I thought as I gave up struggling with this person.

Finally, I was set down and the man whirled me around so I would face him. I gasped and took a step backwards. It was Jack! I couldn't believe it. "What are you doing here?" I managed to ask finally.

"Here to see you of course," he grinned through the scars.

"But I don't understand. I haven't seen or heard from you in nearly four years and now you show up at my graduation," I cried, slightly annoyed with him.

"I'm sorry, but I just had to escape this place for awhile."

"Oh really? Without saying good-bye? And now you just show back up and think everything will be ok? Well, I've got news for you, I've grown stronger on my own."

"I'm sorry for that too. You just wouldn't understand though," he said.

"Ohh, please! It's not like I didn't try, but you didn't want to explain it to me," I spat, turning my back on him.

Jack grabbed my wrist and spun me back around to face him again. He pinned my wrist above my head to the wall. "You listen to me, Alexis," he growled, "I left because I needed to. And I've discovered a couple things about myself, even found my true calling in this crazy world."

"Jack, let go," I begged, trying to wiggle my wrist free, but he only tightened his grip.

"No, Lex, you want to understand, then you're going to understand. I see that you've moved on, and I was right that you'd become a reporter."

"You also said a lawyer," I said.

"True, and that might be more helpful to me now, but no matter. You'll still get to see first hand what I've become," he said with an evil laugh that sent shivers down my spine.

_Intoxicated eyes, no longer live that life_

_You should have learned by now, I'll burn this whole world down_

_I need some peace of mind, no fear of what's behind_

_You think you've won this fight, you've only lost your mind_

_You had to have it all_

_Well have you had enough?_

_You greedy little bastard,_

_You will get what you deserve_

_When all is said and done,_

_I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become_

"What are you going to do, Jack?" I asked.

"I'm going to show this city exactly what it's becoming as it only becomes less like a city and more like a wasteland."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"I'm talking about why all these people let the mob take over the city and they don't seem to give a damn. This city is mad, and I'm going to prove it to them, just you wait and see," he laughed again.

"You're the one that's insane, Jack!" I cried, tears beginning to fall down my face.

"Oh, shh, Lex. Don't cry for me. I'm really not the one you have to fear. I came to see how you might like to get to know me again and maybe help me on my mission."

"I wouldn't help you if my life depended on it. I'm don't know what the hell it is you're thinking about doing, but I sure as hell know I'm not about to get wrapped up in it."

Jack laughed, "That's what you think, sweetheart. But you're a reporter now, so you _will_ be involved in making me famous."

I kicked him as hard as I could in the shins and shoved him away from me. Jack fell to the ground laughing. "So stubborn and fiery when you're upset and angry," he teased.

"Shut up, Jack! Just shut the hell up!" I screamed.

Jack got up and came at me again. I jumped out of the way, but one of his arms caught me and pulled me to the ground with him. He landed on top of me, and pinned me to the ground. I kicked and squirmed. "Get off me!" I yelled, trying to punch his back.

"Stop it, stop it," he said, grabbing my wrists to keep me from punching him again.

"Give me one good reason I should," I spat stubbornly.

Jack didn't speak. Instead he leaned in and brushed his rough scars against my lips and then he kissed me. I breathed in sharply, surprised by this turn of events.

He pulled away within a few seconds. I looked up at him puzzled, and he grinned. "What was that for?" I asked.

"Best way I could say sorry to my favorite girl," he smiled.

"Ok…" I said slowly. "And so what are you going to do exactly?"

"Like I said, I'm going to show Gotham what this place has really become, and you will be helping make me famous."

"I don't understand," I complained.

"Not yet, but you'll see soon enough. Of course, I won't go by my name, but you'll know it's me," he said with a wink as he stood up.

I crawled to my feet as well. "What will you go by then?" I called after him as he ran from me.

He paused, turning back and grinned as he tossed a card in my direction. "You're gonna love what I do to this city!" he laughed before disappearing around one of the buildings.

I bent over to pick up the card, seeing it was a tattered playing card. I turned it over to see which card it was: The Joker. I crumpled the card in my hand, angered by his joke and what he swore he would do to this city. I could only imagine.

I turned around and stalked back into the stadium to find my parents, tossing the card in the first trashcan I passed. I wouldn't let that boy get the best of me. If he wanted to destroy his life, he wouldn't take me down with him and I would not be the one to make him famous either.

_Hold me down (I will live again)_

_Hold me down (I will break it in)_

_Hold me down (better in the end)_

_Hold me down_

_You had to have it all,_

_Well have you had enough?_

_You greedy little bastard,_

_You will get what you deserve_

_When all is said and done,_

_I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become_

_Heaven help you_


	8. Decode

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews from the last chapter, you guys rock!!!! I hate that this is the last chapter already, I don't even want it to end, but I'm out of songs. :( Anyways, I'll shut up so you can finish. The song for this chapter is "Decode" by Paramore. Oh, and please still review and let me know what you thought of the story! Later, my friends! **

I awoke from my dream, or more like vivid memory, to find the movie had ended. I stretched and looked at the clock that read 4:45. I sighed as I flipped to the news to see if anything important had happened.

Of course, when the news programming came back from a commercial break, The Joker's face filled the screen. I groaned as the newscaster told me that The Joker had murdered Commissioner Loeb and Judge Surrillo and had made an attempt to kill Harvey Dent as well. This day just kept getting better, I thought bitterly.

Suddenly, my cell phone rang, dancing across the table next to me. I grabbed it, looking at the caller ID before I answered. It wasn't a number I recognized, and I knew I probably shouldn't answer it, but I did. "Hello?" I said, tentatively.

Shrill laughter filled my ear, growing louder to the point where I had to hold the phone away from my ear. "Who is this?" I yelled into the phone.

The laughter stopped then and a voice spoke, or more like cooed, "Don't tell me you don't remember me, Alexis."

I gasped. "Jack? Jack Napier?" I asked slowly.

The man on the other side cackled again sending shivers down my spine. "Oh, no, people don't know me as Jack anymore, silly. I'm just The Joker," he said before bursting into a fit of laughter again.

"You asshole, what did you call me for?"

"Hey, there's no need to be rude my dear. I just wanted to see how you were holding up as you realize what I've become and how you're actually gonna help me."

"I'm not going to help you, Jack. You're insane, that's all I can see right now."

He laughed again, "No, I heard about you being in charge of _my_ story, and you will be making me famous." I could picture him smiling as he said that, except it wasn't the same face I was used to, it was the one covered in paint to obscure his lovely features and emphasize his scars.

"Why are you doing this?"

"To show Gotham its true colors. And I'm talking the true colors of its every-day citizens, not just the mob. You see, when the chips are down, these civilized people will eat each other."

"And your goal is to prove that?"

"Yes, I suppose it is, but I promise you it's not a hard thing to prove."

"You won't succeed though, you do realized that, right?"

"And who's going to stop me, hmm?"

"Batman," I replied.

Jack burst out laughing again. "Oh that's a good one, Lex. Really funny. But I don't see the big bad bat stopping me when he's too cowardly to take off his mask in the first place."

"Or maybe he doesn't want to stoop to your level and show Gotham that even he doesn't have any hope for this city," I protested.

Jack laughed again, "Well, sweetheart, you're in for a real surprise then too. But I do look forward to seeing your story about me." Before I could say anything more, he hung up on me leaving me with that haunting laughter in my head.

_How can I decide what's right_

_When you're clouding up my mind?_

_I can't win your losing fight_

_All the time_

_Nor could I ever own what's mine_

_When you're always taking sides_

_But you won't take away my pride_

_No not this time_

_Not this time_

_How did we get here_

_When I used to know you so well?_

_How did we get here?_

_Well I think I know_

I slammed my phone shut and tossed it on the table. I couldn't believe that Jack of all people had managed to piss me off so much in such a short amount of time, and yet he did. Except he wasn't Jack anymore, he really was The Joker. Jack would never call me up and be so rude, but it was clear The Joker would.

I sat there on the couch staring daggers between the TV and my phone. I seriously would have blown up either object if looks could actually inflict that sort of damage.

Suddenly my phone started ringing again. I growled under my breath as I scooped it off the table and flipped it open. "What?" I snapped into the phone.

"Alexis? Is everything alright?" a gentle female voice asked.

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, everything's great," I said, realizing that it was my friend, Sarah on the phone.

"You sure? You sound a bit shook up," Sarah said, her voice full of concern.

"Nah, really I'm fine," I lied. Then I sighed, "Ok, so I'm not all that fine."

"I knew it!" Sarah exclaimed. "How about we meet for a bite to eat at our favorite pizza joint in about thirty minutes?"

"Alright, that sounds good," I agreed.

"Ok, I'll see you in thirty and you'd better be ready to spill then," she said before disconnecting.

"Will do," I said, hanging up the phone.

I got off the couch and ran to my bedroom to change into a pair of jeans and a tank top. I checked my hair in the mirror and decided to brush it and throw it into a ponytail quick. Within minutes, I was headed out the door to meet up with Sarah.

_The truth is hiding in your eyes_

_And it's hanging on your tongue_

_Just boiling in my blood_

_But you think that I can't see_

_What kind of man that you are_

_If you're a man at all_

_Well I will figure this one out_

_On my own_

_(I'm screaming I love you so)_

_On my own_

_(But my thoughts you can't decode)_

_How did we get here_

_When I used to know you so well?_

_How did we get here?_

_Well I think I know_

As soon as I walked into the little pizza place, I saw Sarah waiting for me in our usual booth. She waved at me as I walked up and slid into the seat across from here. "What's up?" I asked.

"Not much, just been another long day as usual. How are things with you?" she asked.

"Never better," I grinned.

"Liar," she returned with a smirk as she took a sip of her coke.

"Alright, fine, you got me."

"So what's the trouble?"

I told her all about the assignment I had been given at work and how much it was affecting me, that I couldn't stop thinking about the past and remembering the horrors that I knew of that turned a young man into a monster. Then I told her about the phone call I had gotten just before she called me.

Sarah listened and waited patiently for me to finish my story before saying anything. She simply nodded to let me know she was keeping up with the story. That's what I loved about her, she'd get all the details before offering up an opinion. When I got done, she said, "So what are you gonna do about it?"

I sighed, "I don't suppose there's much I can do about it. I guess I'll have to do a story and end up giving him what he wants. Unless you have a better idea?"

Sarah shook her head, "Sorry, I don't really see any way around it. I mean you could get him back by letting everybody know his real identity but that just might give you more trouble than you bargain for."

"Yeah, I'd rather not give him a reason to want to put me on his list of people to threaten and kill," I replied.

"Well you know what they say," Sarah began.

"What?" I pressed.

"It's a cruel world, but the strong know how to survive. You're one of the strong, Alexis, so you'll manage to see it through, even if the ride does suck."

"Yeah, I suppose. And the ride will suck because Jack was exactly right, even back when we discussed careers before this crazy life got the best of him."

Sarah nodded in agreement. Then she looked at her watch. "Oh crap! It's getting late and I gotta be at work early in the morning. I hate to bail on you," she said standing up.

"It's cool. I understand, thanks for this though," I said, giving her a hug.

"No problem. And I know you'll come through and figure out exactly what to do," she reassured me with a return hug before leaving me to return to my drink and getting lost in my thoughts of what to do about Jack. I knew I wasn't going to let him win or get the best of me, but I also knew Gotham was in for a very dark time...

_Do you see what we've done?_

_We're gonna make such fools of ourselves_

_Do you see what we've done?_

_We're gonna make such fools of ourselves_

_How did we get here_

_When I used to know you so well?_

_How did we get here_

_When I used to know you so well?_

_I think I know_

_I think I know_

_There is something I see in you_

_It might kill me, I want it to be true_


End file.
